Using the Proper Splicing Tools

Some people who have lived in both the city and the country have observed that city living can make one helpless in many ways:

Why cook when you can order in?. . .

Why do laundry when you can send it out?. . .

Why splice a cable when you can call your local Geek Squad?. . .

 In the country, however, people have to be more self-sufficient, and learn household skills— from cooking, to doing laundry, to splicing cables—fairly routinely. Today’s post is on how one should always use the proper splicing tools. 

To splice two pieces of cable together properly, the rubber must first be stripped back from the two ends of the cables to expose the wires, then the wires must be intertwined, and then the connection must be wrapped securely with good electrical tape—not with scotch tape—and capped with a wire nut. 

Two independent clauses should be spliced together no less properly. One needs the proper tools to do a proper job:

Splicing two independent clauses together properly can be accomplished with a comma and a coordinate conjunction (and, or, nor, yet, or but) or with a semi-colon (;), but splicing two independent clauses together with a comma is just as fraught with risk as splicing two pieces of cable together with scotch tape.

Examples (independent clauses in brackets):

Comma Splice (incorrect):

[He wanted to see the Kentucky Derby], [that much was certain].

Correct:

[He wanted to see the Kentucky Derby]; [that much was certain].

Comma Splice (incorrect):

[Commodities crashed], [a lot of traders got burned].

Correct:

[Commodities crashed], and [a lot of traders got burned].

Comma Splice (incorrect):
[Holmes would not take the first cab], [he would not take the second].


Correct:

[Holmes would not take the first cab], nor [would he take the second].

A Series of Independent Clauses

There are some situations that may look like a comma splice, but that are in fact a series of independent clauses, and these are properly separated by commas.

Correct:

[He would take the signing bonus], [he would buy a ring], and [he would ask her to marry him].

The Question of “So”

So what about “so”? This is a commonly seen usage:

It was raining, so they went to the movies.

But “so” is not a coordinate conjunction. The sentence is an example of a comma splice. “So,” in this usage, means “for this reason,” “therefore,” or “thus,” and it should properly read:

It was raining, and so they went to the movies.

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The Journalism Wall of Shame

The Journalism Wall of Shame will display errors in grammar, punctuation, or language that have appeared recently  in the press. Submissions are welcome. Please include publication name and date, story title, and reporter. The publication of these errors in no way lays the blame for them on a particular person. Sometimes it is the reporter, sometimes the editor, sometimes the headline writer—but, somewhere in the system, somebody should have known better.

Squash for Quash:

“Another major irritant has been the failure of the Pakistani military to heed the calls of the United States to squash the Qaeda-linked militants known as the Haqqani network. . . .” (Bugs get squashed; militants get quashed.)

—New York Times, May 2, 1011, “Bin Laden’s Death Likely to Deepen Suspicions of Pakistan,” Jane Perlez [See related post on this blog, Quash and Squash.—Ms. Picky]

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Different Than for Different From:

“The way I’m valuing Apple right now is not much different than how many other analysts would value Apple.” (The sentence should have read, “The way I’m valuing Apple right now is not much different from how many other analysts. . . .”)

—CBS MarketWatch, May 9, 2011, “Why Apple is going to be worth $2 trillion,” by James Altucher

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Unnecessarily Split Infinitive:

 “The Liberal Democrats were expected to not only lose the vote on reform of the UK’s electoral system on Friday but also several key City councils in their power base in the north of England. . . .” (The sentence should have read, “The Liberal Democrats were expected not only to lose the vote. . . .”) 

—CNBC Web, May 6, 2011, “ ‘The UK Will Need a Bailout Soon’: Jim Rogers,” by Matthew West

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Lack of Apostrophe with Gerund, Distorting Meaning; Error in Number:

Headline “Kids Moving Out Are a Boon to the Economy” (It’s not the kids that are the boon; it’s their moving out that’s the boon, and “moving out” is singular, not plural. It should have been: “Kids’ Moving Out Is a Boon to the Economy.”)

—Bloomberg BusinessWeek, May 12, 2011, by Steve Matthews

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