If by Chance . . .

Ms. Picky is in “Sin City” (Las Vegas) this week, on business. Ms. Picky is not opposed to a little sin. She adores seeing a man in a dinner jacket, for example, and, if she were to be seated at the baccarat table next to Pierce Brosnan. . . . 


Unfortunately, the only men wearing dinner jackets are the croupiers, and, if Pierce is at a baccarat table, it must be in Monte Carlo. Ms. Picky suspects that all the people wearing fanny packs—who are walking around spilling beer from paper cups, popping their chewing gum, and wearing silly hats and tee shirts—have scared him away from Las Vegas. 

Never mind; the week is young, and, since the newspapers of the past few weeks have been telling us repeatedly how important it is not to rush to judgment, Ms. Picky will try to keep her mind open to the idea that Sin City might after all offer some really worthwhile sin—perhaps the foie gras at Aureole? It’s always possible that one’s luck might change.

In the meantime, since so much in Las Vegas depends on luck, this seems a good opportunity to discuss a couple of subordinate conjunctions related to turns of fortune—if and whether—and why they should not be used interchangeably.

If

“If” is used to express a condition, and, with “if,” there is always an “if-then” dynamic, even if the word “then” is not actually expressed:

Correct:

If silver dropped to $30, then she’d make a bundle.

If I were you, I’d put all my winnings on the red.

If only you hadn’t put all your winnings on the red last night, you might have been more amenable to doing business this morning.

Incorrect:

They weren’t sure if they should stay at the Venetian next year or if they should stay at the Bellagio.

Whether

“Whether” is used to express choices or alternatives, and, with “whether,” there is always a “whether-this-or-that” dynamic:

Correct:

They couldn’t decide whether to attend the cocktail party at the Wynn or join their friends for tapas at Serrano.

She didn’t know whether she should try her hand at blackjack or play roulette.

They couldn’t decide whether to go to the Cirque du Soleil show or see Blue Man Group.

Incorrect:

I asked him whether Macau’s margins had been better than Las Vegas’s.

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The Journalism Wall of Shame

The Journalism Wall of Shame displays errors in grammar, punctuation, or language that have appeared recently in the press. Submissions are welcome. Please include publication name and date, story title, and reporter. The publication of these errors in no way places blame for them on a particular person. Sometimes it is the reporter, sometimes the editor, sometimes the headline writer, but—somewhere in the system—somebody should have known better.

“Being as” for “Since”:

“Being as this is day one of what he thinks could be a sizable move higher, Cramer remains a buyer of industrials.”

—www.CNBC.com, “What the Market Is Teaching Us,” Drew Sandholm, May 18, 2011 

[Ms. Picky comments: There is no correct usage of “being as” as a subordinate conjunction. The only situation in which the two words can legitimately be used together is in a construction like: “He is being as reckless as she is.”]

“Healthy” for “healthful”:

This misuse, mostly in relation to fish (e.g., “healthy fish dinners”), appears in too many newspapers’ food columns to list here. 

[Ms. Picky comments: A “healthy fish” must be—for starters—alive. Any fish that has been grilled, fried, sautéed, broiled, or poached is not healthy, because it’s dead. Fish, as food, might be said to be “healthful,” but, once a fish has been caught and gutted, its healthy days are over.] 

“Loaned” for “Lent”:

“In 2005, the bank loaned 50 billion yuan to Tianjin Binhai New Area Construction & Investment Group Co., a company set up with the Tianjin government.”

—“Financing China Costs Poised to Rise With CDB Losing Sovereign-Debt Status,” Bloomberg Markets magazine, Bloomberg News, May 2, 2011 (and many other sources) 

[Ms. Picky comments:  “Loan” is a noun; the corresponding verb is “lend,” the past tense of which is “lent.” This should have been “. . . the bank lent 50 billion yuan. . . .”]

 _______

Bulletin Board

To K.C.:

Re the pronunciation of “short-lived,” you are perfectly right in thinking that “long-lived” should be pronounced with a long i. The reason is that “lived” is not derived from the verb “live,” which has a short i, but from the noun “life,” which has a long i.

To D.S.:

Ms. Picky is aware that “everyone” says, “You better own up to it.” That doesn’t make it right. It should correctly be “You’d better own up to it” or “You had better own up to it.”

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