Parts of Speech: 1. The Genuine and Underappreciated Article

An entire post devoted to the discussion of the article as a part of speech might seem somewhat akin to the Seinfeld episode in which Jerry and George discuss the concept of writing a show about nothing. 

The article, after all, is one of the most unnoticed, yet often-used parts of speech in the English language—one that many people don’t even know by name—and one that doesn’t even exist in some languages. 

But don’t write the article off too quickly. It is a quiet and steadfast servant of our common language. An article can be as invisible as a chameleon, or—with the accompaniment of a raised eyebrow and a slight pause—can assume a role of understated, but real, significance. 

An article can accuse—or dismiss. . . .

An article is used to indicate and specify a noun. If one says, “A book was lying on the table,” the indefinite article indicates that the only importance of the noun “book” is its “bookness.” It is only the definite article that confers specificity: “I lost the book you lent me.”

In romance languages, of course, the hard-working article has the additional task of indicating gender, which is ironic, because Latin, though it uses gender, does not use articles. 

In some languages with non-roman alphabets, the article as a part of speech does not exist. A noun’s specificity, or lack of it, is indicated only by its context. 

Even in English, there are discrepancies in style between British English and American English. Americans go to “a  university” or “a hospital,” “see the doctor,” and take “Route I-95.” Brits go “to university” or “to hospital,” “see doctor,” and take “the A14.” But both Americans and Brits go “to sea” and “to prison.” 

All right, New Yorkers, what about “the Bronx”? Why does the Bronx, alone among the boroughs of New York City, take an article, while the other boroughs do not? 

Because the area now known as “the Bronx” once belonged to one Jonas Bronck—an early settler whose nationality is variously described as Dutch, Swedish, or Danish—and his family. The territory became known as “the Broncks’ Place.” Although “place” was eventually dropped, the article was retained. 

Finally, of course, there are the various understated, but nevertheless emphatic, usages of articles whose size belies the magnitude of their implications:

Jamie Dimon is the man.

Their red soles have made Louboutins the shoes of the season. 

You are the man. 
(If you didn’t recognize this one, it’s not your fault; Ms. Picky couldn’t quite bear to write, “You da man.”) 


And finally, somewhat poignantly:

Q. Who was that girl I saw you with?

A. Oh, just a girl. . . .

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Bulletin Board

To S.W.: 

The clause you are inquiring about, “If I would have known, I would not have gone,” is, to Ms. Picky, like the sound of fingernails scraping a blackboard. The verb form used so incorrectly is the past conditional; what is called for is the past perfect. The subordinate conjunction “if” already implies the conditional. Why would you want to repeat it in the same clause? The sentence should be: “If I had known, I would not have gone.”

To M.B.: 

Ms. Picky regrets that you did not cite the source for the quotation you submitted for the “Journalism Wall of Shame,” the illiterate “coming off of its earnings announcement.” The error is, nevertheless, so egregious that it is being included here, sourceless, on “Bulletin Board.”)  It should of course have been, as you say, "Coming off its earnings announcement. (Even that is allowing for a slangy, financial-industry dialect not permissible in other situations.)

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