More Misusages—The Merely Annoying, the Somewhat Puzzling, and the Downright Comical

The Merely Annoying 

Belgium for Belgian. Why must people use the noun Belgium when the adjective Belgian is called for? No one would ever say that he had ordered “France toast” for breakfast; the adjective form, of course, is “french.”* So then why would one say that he had ordered “Belgium waffles”? Belgium is the name of the country. Belgian is the adjective. Someone or something from Belgium (or in the style of Belgium) is Belgian. Belgian waffles (or beer, or chocolates)—please!

“Chomping on the bit” for “champing at the bit.” “Champing at the bit” is a description of a certain equine behavior; when a horse is impatient or restive, he works his mouth at the bit, as a means of showing impatience. Champing is a symptom of restiveness in other animals as well and could be considered analogous to a person’s tapping his fingers impatiently. The phrase “champing at the bit,” then, is used as a metaphor for a human being’s showing impatience at being held back; it has nothing whatever to do with chewing food or eating.  

“Taking a different tact” for “taking a different tack.” “Taking a different tack” is an allusion to a sailing maneuver. Tack is the alignment of a vessel with respect to the wind. If a sailor changes tack, he changes his strategy about how to proceed to his ultimate destination. In non-sailing situations, the phrase is used as a metaphor for taking a different approach to solving a problem, and has nothing to do with “tact.”

The Somewhat Puzzling 

“Prostrate” for prostate. (As in “He had to have his prostrate gland examined.”) Was it that he had to have a gland examined—or his prone position? Oh, never mind. Really.

“Spaded” for spayed. (As in “I had my dog spaded when he was a puppy.”) Was this some barbaric sort of veterinary surgery performed with gardening tools?

And finally . . .

The Downright Comical 

“Testicles” for tentacles. (As in “The film’s best scene was when the giant squid wrapped his testicles around the submarine.”) Ms. Picky can only leave it to her readers to visualize** that one for themselves. . . .

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*Before the question is raised: Yes, “french,” in this case, should be lower-cased, as it should also be in french fries, french bread, and so on, when one is using this adjective not as a reference to a nationality, but as an adjective describing the style of a food. Don’t look for logic, however, because one does capitalize the B in Brussels sprouts or in Belgian waffles. (Don’t whine; that’s just the way it is.)

** Where is Gahan Wilson when you need him? He is just the man to illustrate this scene.